


Unus Annus

by Calicornia



Series: The Anus [2]
Category: Naruto, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: Laundry, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:08:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28210668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calicornia/pseuds/Calicornia
Summary: Momento Mori
Relationships: Kishibe Rohan/Kujo Jotaro
Series: The Anus [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2073642
Kudos: 2





	Unus Annus

Komaeda was on his way to the super glue store. The world was going to end with him, Spongebob was also on his way to the super glue store, but Rohan saw through this. There was no way they were going to take away from his superglue binge. Not in a million years. He needed that sweet, sweet nectar.

  
“Hey babycakes.” Rohan burst through the doors of the Superglue Anasui, half naked. Jotaro stood behind the counter, also half naked. Which half? Who knows. “I need some of that extra super superglue. Like superman superglue if you know what I mean winky face!”

  
Jotaro sweat… Winky face? Like Dva from Overwatch winky face? He couldn’t hold it in, he had to say it.

“Rohan… I think I want you but in a Turkey way.”

Rohan flipped his hair and scowled. Not his own hair, but Jotaro’s.

“It ain’t November anymore, honeychow.” Rohan scanned his own superglue, “It’s Not November.”

“Yare yare…” Jotaro looked at the price, 4 dollars. The superglue was reverse inflating! Something was wrong, but not wrong. Morally he had no money, nor did he have the time to ponder the fall of capitalism. 

Rohan loomed precariously over the counter, like a chicken about to lay a fat load of eggs on the counter. Jotaro began to sweat. He didn’t get paid enough for this. 

“Well?” The mangaka questioned, waiting for that sweet sweet sticky icky. Jotaro wasted no time. He would have his turkey and eat it too if you know what I mean >;}

He pulled his trust gay turkey baster out of his pocket dimension and filled it with super glue. Rohan’s ass clapped in delight. Jotaro started to sweat, he couldn’t resist Rohan’s fat ass, or his claps. He stuck his hand in the butter supply, and then into Rohan’s slutter supply. He pulled Rohan down behind the counter and began to fist him, just like that one time at Ihop, when his boss came out with the news.

“Jotaro me boy, I’m getting arrested for possession of ketamine!” Mr. Krabs shouted as he was hauled out in handcuffs, “You have the day off argh argh argh argh!” The hatted man sighed, and then looked at Rohan. He was like an unblocked Komaeda, cum everywhere. With a tip of the hat, he lifted the mangaka up like the infinity gauntlet and snapped. They had somewhere to be, and fast. The only laundromat in France, French Laundromat.

“I am the French Laundromat Sphinx, and I must quiz you before you enter argh argh argh argh!” A sphinx with the face of Mr. Krabs stood before the French Laundromat, the resemblance uncanny. Jotaro merely sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Fuck off.” Jotaro bluntly stated, yare yareing under breath, “I got clothes to clean.”

The sphinx politely vanished.

TwentyHomophobia was coming to a close and Rohan was cumming in his clothes. Jotaro was at the laundromat for 4096th time this week (This number is in french time and does not reflect any valid unit of measurement).

“Yare yare daze” Jotaro yare yare daze’d as he placed yet another pair of cumsoaked gucci x cloak brand underwear into the washing machine. “I guess my ass is just too fat,”

The hat man’s cakes clapped vigorously as he bent over the basket of soiled designer clothes. His jaw tensed with concern as he spotted the remnants of what looked to be 800 kinder surprise eggs on one of the mangaka’s many thongs.

Jotaro contemplated all of his life choices in this moment.

“Where is this story even going?” The narrator thought to themselves. No one knew, not even Lee. 

Lee stood in the corner in front of the last washing machine. Some asshole had filled all the other ones with cummy wummies, so he had to use the forbidden washing machine dungeon. He prayed, but he also didn’t pray. He leed into the sky, the forbidden words.

  
“Guy Sensei, forgive me for what I’m about to do!” Lee danced the mamushka “LEE LEE LEE LEE LEE!” 

The ground quaked, the cake baked, and most importantly, Jotaro’s ass shaked. The ground opened up, revealing a thin, circular portal. Lee would’ve smiled, but this was no smiling matter. The green suited boy dived into the pit, holding his dirty laundry, and landed in the cold, humid hell that was the forbidden washing machine dungeon. Hundreds of demons were doing their clothes, but also dirtying the clothes of other washing machine dungeon members. Bile rose to his mouth as he approached the only empty washing machine.

“Your first time in the Forbidden Washing Machine Dungeon?” French Koichi chuckled in Italian, his French godfathers, midwives, clergy and choir all observed him washing his clothes. “I’ll have you know, we don’t cotton to freaks around here.

  
“I am not a freak, nor am I a weirdo!” Lee pouted.

“Then what the hell are you doing here!?” French Koich threw a punch, knocking Lee’s clothes basket to the ground. Wrong move, Lee. Everyone can see your undies now.

“At least I have undies!” Lee shouted at no one in particular. French Koichi quirked an eyebrow, but not quick enough. Lee leaf hurricaned his dirty undies straight into the awaiting face of the frenchman. The french godfathers, midwives, clergy and choir as sacre bleu’d in unison at the sight. 

Wrong move part two Lee. That move is illegal in the washing machine dungeon. 

The laundry demons swarmed, spewing filth and sewage as they went. It started to rain chemical Koichi, french edition.

“How can it rain in a dungeon?” Lee asked, making his third mistake. He breathed in the chemicals.

  
  


French Guy Sensei appears from inside a washing machine. He was pissed. And naked. But then not naked so he didn’t expose himself to Lee.

  
  


“JE SUIS UN FUCKING PISSED! C’EST MON SON YOU ARE BULLYING YOU FAKE FRENCH ITALLIEN!” French Guy Sensei did the only logical thing to do. He breathed in the chemicals.

French Koichi was immune. This chemical was his making after all.

“Foolish Guy Sensei, this is where my demons hide!” French Koichi cackled, he put his arm around French Elsa, “MY ITALIAN DEMONS!”

  
  


“It’s woven in my soul,” French Elsa turned radioactive. “I NEED TO LET YOU GO”

The supersaiyan ice queen blasted Guy Sensei with aurora beam. Guy Sensei absorbed the impact in to his manly tiddies. Pecks they call em.

“Rookie mistake. Don’t you know who you’re dealing with?” Guy Sensei ascended. He was now Christmas parade sourdough ascension Guy Sensei.

“Je suis dealing avec un fraud!” French Elsa shouted, “Le Christmas belongs to the not whatever you are Guy Sensei!”

Guy Sensei shed a tear, and unleashed Sheer Cold onto French Elsa, freezing her in place. French Koichi was full of rage. His demons could no longer hide.

  
  


“C’EST TIME TO ROAST SOME CHESTNUTS!” French Koichi burst into flames.

Lee cried as he hurriedly washed his dirty undies in the cursed washing machine. The ticking of a clock in the distance, Hajime sealed inside an hourglass. Hundreds of french mice. Fake Texan Invasion.

Nobody knows when.

Nobody knows why.

But the anus?

It’s coming.


End file.
